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Are you going to tell him? Or am I? Someone needs to because the prospect of 11 months of Chris Bowen mangling the word "nuclear" right up until the election is intolerable.
As regular Echidna correspondent Old Donald points out, it's not "new-cular" nor is it "noo-cular". It's "nuclear". "New-clee-ah".
So wrap your tongue around it, Chris, or our hair's going to be torn out in frustration as we're continually distracted from anything useful you might have to say.
Of course, Bowen's not the only person in politics who's going to make this nuclear energy debate unendurable.
The principal salesperson for the Coalition's nuke spruik, Ted O'Brien, will do more to sink "the plan" than see it across the line.
He might possess the burning zeal of an evangelist - eyes aflame like a worshipper at a pentecostal megachurch - but until he learns to answer the questions put to him, he's unlikely to convert a single soul.
Straight from the Scott Morrison School of Incomprehensible Word Salad, Little Ted steadfastly refuses to acknowledge awkward facts when put to him. The more he talks, the less convincing he becomes.
But eventually interviewers like David Speers cut through the carapace to reveal how little he knows about the expensive plan he wants us to sign up to. How much power would these reactors generate, Little Ted was asked. Won't know until after the election he finally admitted. Cost? In due course.
Last week, Little Ted faced Sarah Ferguson and her awkward question about the International Atomic Energy Agency's advice for Australia not to go down the nuclear path. Off he went, on a bizarre tangent. It was a train wreck.
Spivs flogging rusted out Camrys on Parramatta Road would make more sales than this bloke.
The adult conversation about nuclear power Peter Dutton says he wants degenerated into personal insults by the weekend. Albanese was a child in a man's body, the Opposition Leader told Western Australian Liberals.
The insult, prompted by a flurry of silly memes circulated by Labor, could have been written by Donald Trump - the only difference, Trump can engage an audience. Like Trump, Dutton wants to project a strong man persona. He wants to diminish Albanese by calling him weak. It's schoolyard stuff which doesn't sit well with his calls for a mature discussion.
![The Coalition's nuke spruik Ted O'Brien. Picture by Jonathan Carroll The Coalition's nuke spruik Ted O'Brien. Picture by Jonathan Carroll](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/pMXRnDj3SUU44AkPpn97sC/5dbe6d4a-097e-4409-80b3-492938378781.jpg/r0_265_5184_3191_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
The long-awaited Coalition nuclear energy policy has sunk into the culture-war abyss because it wasn't really a policy to start with. If it were, we'd know the cost, the plan for the waste, the amount of energy the proposed reactors would generate and when they'd lower electricity bills.
Instead, we have in front of us, months of political sniping and distraction, more "nucular" than we can tolerate, and endless gobbledygook from Little Ted.
I'm not sure we have the energy for that.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Can the Coalition convince you nuclear power is feasible? Does it need a better energy advocate than Ted O'Brien? Is the argument becoming another culture war? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- The Albanese government will introduce legislation to rein in price gouging by the nation's largest supermarkets Coles, Woolworths, Aldi and Metcash, which owns the IGA chain. "We're cracking down on anti-competitive behaviour in the supermarkets sector so people get fairer prices at the checkout," Treasurer Jim Chalmers said.
- Former Liberal NSW treasurer and energy minister Matt Kean, picked to lead the federal advisory body on climate change, has expressed doubts about nuclear energy. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced on Monday that his government would appoint Mr Kean to lead the Climate Change Authority.
- Laws paving the way for one of Australia's largest unions to split amid a bitter stoush have been introduced to Federal Parliament. Under the laws, brought into the House of Representatives on Monday, manufacturing division members of the Construction, Forestry and Maritime Employees Union (CFMEU) would be able to vote to leave the union.
THEY SAID IT: "Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
YOU SAID IT: A private member's bill to protect the status of cash in the face of electronic payments has been introduced to federal parliament.
"Many exchanges of money are not between businesses," writes Maggie. "Buying a raffle ticket at a street stall, buying a pot plant at the CWA market, paying a teenager for a lawn mowing job, paying a friend who dropped off groceries while I was isolating with COVID: I have done all of those things in the past month. Waving plastic or a device doesn't work everywhere. Electronic is great for businesses and big amounts, but there's more to life and to economics than that."
Arthur writes: "I keep a reserve of cash in my wallet especially when travelling. If eftpos is down I do not want to be caught with no fuel hundreds of kilometres away from home and no means of paying for emergency accommodation. The most important drawback to cash is the black market which thrives on non traceable transactions. The drug trade is almost if not entirely reliant on cash transactions so an upper limit on cash transactions is desirable. Perhaps $100 and $50 dollar notes should be withdrawn to keep cash transactions to small amounts."
"I am 81 and an aged pensioner," writes Geraldine. "I use cash on all my small and local items. I only use a credit card if I purchase something bigger and pay that off when it is due. I do have a debit card and sometimes I may put money on and use that if I am travelling. Cash is still king within most of my friends. I laugh when I go around with the raffle at a footy club as many young ones don't even have a $2 coin. I say, 'I hope you've got some away somewhere for when the internet goes down.'"
Allan writes: "I long ago gave up paying for anything with cash and find the sheer convenience of card is worth the small surcharge. Like you, I can keep a couple of $20 notes in my pocket for months (mind you some of my drinking mates claim that was the case even before cards took over). However, I'm joining the fight to keep cash as currency - many people, especially the elderly, insist on the old ways. My 92-year-old mother in law just doesn't trust credit cards. I suspect it will be a losing battle though, especially with the wholesale closure of banks and ATMs - regional areas particularly are being hit hard."